I suck, you suck, it sucks, we suck, you suck, they suck [International Workers' Day]

To suck:
"To be objectionable, of very poor quality, or offensive".

1st of May is International Workers' Day.
So, let's rant for once about how working with a big global Company sucks nowadays!

Everybody and everything sucks somewhere more or less. We can conjugate the verb "to suck" and address some of our favorites suckers:

• Me (I suck) and us, the "resources" in management speak (we suck) 
• our CEO (you suck) and the whole leadership management team (you suck)
• the units that prevent us to innovate like Marketing (it sucks) and the ever growing Centers of Excellence (they suck).

I suck:

1. I procrastinate more and more (and generally don't answer my mail in less than 24 hours!)
2. I let my innovative projects get hijacked and ruined (you know, the "don't ask for permission, just do it" types of projects!)
3. I don't argue any more when asked to "just execute" (but I still don't act on dumb requests, knowing that they will anyway be replaced by new ones before anybody notices!).

You, the CEO, suck:

1. You blame all employees for what are management's shortcomings and lack of true leadership
2. You let greedy shareholders and managers dictate and ruin your strategies
3. You let processes, reporting and KPIs slow the company down, stiffle innovation and discourage internal entrepreneurship

It, the Marketing, sucks:

1. It is arrogant, self-centered and continues to try to trick customers 
2. It still believes in Mad Men and spends boatloads of budget on crappy tactics
3. It is bogged down by processes, reporting and KPIs (even more than Sales, yes, it IS possible!)

We, the "Resources", suck:

1. We accept crazy processes, reporting and KPIs
2. We dare no more think and we execute meaningless action plans to please management
3. We follow rules and compliance at the expense of business agility and customer service/satisfaction

You, the Managers, suck:

1. You don't lead, you micro manage and kill action 
2. You treat us like "resources" and kill motivation
3. You avoid risks by any means and kill innovation

They, the Centers of Excellence, suck:

1. They embody bureaucracy and complexity at their worse
2. They act brainlessly to follow processes and rules and to be 100% compliant
3. They live by "answer in less than 24 hours" and "green ticks in spreadsheets" and immediately send us requests back instead of owning and resolving anything by themselves. 

Sure, on Christmas, Santa Claus will bring us all presents for being winners and legend...wait for it...dary!
But for now, I wish all of us, you and them, a happy International Suckers' Day!